Oh how nice it is to be back in Riverside... Well, back at school... I made everything sound so good on my last journal about home, which everything was.. Parents are awesome, sister is pleasently pregnant with a girl, Grandma is still kicking and one of the most Godly women I know, and Kevin is, well Kevin... Home is definatly not the way it was when I was living there.. It's weird how people change so fast and me being one.. I look at myself and I don't like what I see, I know I can be better, I know God has better things for me, then this slump I am in, but why is it so hard to take that first step? Tuesday and Thursday I spent almost half of both days in complete silence, listening to peoples prayers, scripture reading and just listening to what God had to say. It is clear to me that he was saying take the first step, I promise I will be there with you, you aren't alone.. But why is it so hard?
My mom had a talk with my bro and I about our testimonies and who we are portraying... I know she ment good through it, but she kind of made me sound like a alcoholic, and a really bad kid.. I know why she had this talk, because I was going to Big Bear with my bro and his friends.. I so bad wanted to rub it in her face that I her son Kyle didn't get drunk, didn't drink, and took care of his twin brother (picking him up from the bars and stuff). Speaking of my bro, that boy needs some prayer.. I don't know why he would live the life he is now, I mean my parents did a good job raising us, I could point out some things that they could of done better, but over all they were some awesome parents! I wonder what goes on in Kevins mind, I wonder what makes him act the way he does and do the things he does... I hope and pray that he gets out of the rut he is in.
Meagan came back to school on thursday and she is still the awesome girl that I know..All that I got to say is, why her? have I fallen head over heals for a girl that I think I can't have. Why can't I have her? Could I? I don't think I can. I know I don't think highly of myself, maybe that is just it. I want to date that girl, but I know right now isn't the right time. I know God is telling me to get right with him before I journey into a realationship.
Welp thats all I have to say fpr now.. There was a hour break between I wrote this and how I feel now.. Man I am really starting to think I am Bi-polar or something.. Well, I'm going to get some grub and pick up the Famous Nikki Howell from the airport.. later
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2 comments:
Kyle, First off I thought you were in love with me.... what happened there? Is it because of my bad ovaries? And if you are an alcoholic the way your mom believes you are... I'm pretty sure you can go right to the source and talk to Dad about that. What does she expect when you've been downing Scotch since you were a baby "I like scotch, scotch, scotch scotch" Anchorman is way funny. Anyways I think of you at 4:20 every day. And when I hear oldies or our other song on the radio "I think we're alone now. Doesnt seem to be anyone around"
Don't tell me that I need to update my blog when I've had to read yours over and over again. Write something funny about me... everyone loves those! :)
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