So, I just got done having a conversation with Leslie and I had Coffee with one of my residents tonight, Zack...So let me start out with my conversation with Zack.
Zack likes this girl name Roxy, which is one of my friends since my freshman year at good Ol'Cal Bap. She is trying to finish in three years and is taking like 25 units a semester and really doesn't have a social like because of it. Zack and Roxy started talking last year and kept a pretty good friendship.. you see there was a likeing involved in this, and there still is a liking involved with this...We talked about friendship and all that and these are the words that came out of MY mouth (I couldn't believe it) "There is no possible was that a guy and a girl can be bestfriends, without a attraction between the guy, girl, or both"... Yep, I thought about it a lot and it is true.. I know this has been talked about a lot and I totally disagreed with the whole thing, untill I really thought about it! I have a "bestfriend" name Meagan, she is in Ireland right now! I miss her tremendously and can't wait till she comes back... There is a attraction there.. I am very attracted to Meagan! In fact I can tell you that I like her and would do anything for her.. Is that what our friendship started out as, No... But, it became that.. I know Meagan may read this, and I think I am ok about this.. This is why I don't think Guys and Girls should be bestfriends, because I know whats going to happen.. Either someone is going to get there feelings hurt, or something amazing will happen! Either way, I think I am ready to take that risk.. So what brought this up? another story...
I was talking to one of my friends, Leslie... She knows that i like Meagan and she knows a lot about me... We were chatting last night and we talked about realationships and how We have a year of school left and how we are both going to graaduate in a year (Lord willing) we also talked about how I have not seriously dated someone in college! Best time to start dating and Kyle hasn't!!!! Leslie has a serious boyfriend and they will most likely get married after she graduates (I'm going to be the Fat Hoe in the wedding!! I mean the flower girl... haha no.. how about the book signer.. hahah maybe?).. Well anyways, back to the story... She was trying to get me to start dating someone! and I told her no, that I was waiting till next semester to do anything.. She put a question in my head, that I never really thought of, "what if it doesn't work out and she doesn't like you, whats next?" It kind of scared me because I don't know.. I thought of my future and me spending it alone.. I don't like to be alone.. I know I was meant for companionship and I know that in God's time everything will work out... but if i don't pursue, then nothing will ever happen, I'm the guy and thats the Guys job.. I guess I am just affraid of rejection!
So we started talking about girls and she told me that she was going home with two girls from school and she named them off.. One is a walking STD (I know it sounds mean, but it's true) and the other is a girl I have always thought was gorgeous, Wally knows, her, they sang together or something... Her name is Rebeka (sp?) and she has a boyfriend... so Jokingly I told Leslie to tell bekah if things don't work out to give me a call.. and Leslie told her today... they laughed about it and she said that sshe liked me last year, but she has a boy now! I thought that was funnym just to show you that Maybe I have waister two years of my life liking one girl that I consider my "bestfriend", or maybe I haven't??? who nows? anyone? Well I think I have wrote enough for tonight.. I will probably feel like a huge Idiot after posting this, but oh well... It's just my thoughts , right?
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Hey Kyle...I don't know anything about love, but this is what I think. First of all I'm glad you finally came around about the whole guys and girls bein best friends. I think it just settles a lot of things to guard our hearts closely. Secondly, I don't think you should feel like you've missed out on so much by not dating in college. Sounds like Leslie thinks if you don't hook someone in these four years, then you're doomed for life. And if that's the case, I find myself in a pridicament as well. Yes it sucks being lonely at times, and I know I don't wish a life of singleness on anyone cause I'm sure marriage is totally wonderful, and I've seen plenty of relationship modeled before me that are beautiful...but I also think this is the best time for you to know who you are outside of who you've always been. It's in these years that I believe you form a lot of things that will decided who you'll be in the greater part of you adult life. Not that there's not room for change. And Yes while you are the pursuer you should get busy doin some pursuin, but isn't it worth chasin the one you want. Whether she likes you or not, how would you know if you were after all of these other girls? And just because you do start chasing after other girls, doesn't mean that you'll find there are millions out there that want you. I dunno...I wanna believe that there is one person for me, and I don't want to waste a lot of time dating around trying to firgure out who he is. And as much as I want love, I know it's worth waiting for. And I have confidence in my God above that He will make it all happen. So in the mean time...I plan for things that I know will bring fulfillment in my life, and I try as hard as I can to not sit around and mope wondering why I've never had a boyfriend. All that to say...don't listen to other people. Not even me...do what you know in your heart is worth it.
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